Parenting Advices

Blotchy skin, wrinkles and strawberry marks. Learn to read the signs of a newborn’s skin and know what and what not to worry about.

He may look like Mr. Potatohead with all his wrinkles and blotches, but when a new mom gazes at her newborn baby for the first time, it will be love at first sight.

There are a lot of things you will notice about your baby than just checking to make sure he has all fingers and toes!

Birth marks

At birth, it is normal for a baby to appear bluish, as oxygen from the lungs has yet to reach his bloodstream. He may also have patches of dry skin or still be covered with vernix — the greasy, white substance that protected his body from the amniotic fluid inside the womb.

In the first few weeks, you may also notice minor blemishes on your baby’s skin. These are usually harmless and require no immediate treatment. Most of them will disappear in a few month’s time. Some common blemishes that may appear:

• Milia, which are tiny white spots on the baby’s face (like whiteheads), cause by blocked oil glands.
• Stork marks or bites, which are red in color and can be found on the neck, nose or eyelids.
• Strawberry marks, are raised red marks, which may grow rapidly in the first few weeks but should disappear by your baby’s sixth month or so.
• Nettle rash, usually disappears in a month’s time, and is characterized by a raised white center surrounded by an inflamed red area.
• Port wine stains, which are reddish purplish marks on the face and neck, however, are permanent and will require treatment when the child is older.

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No matter the provocation, some things to do if you don’t want to break out in case of sibling rivalries:

• Never compare one over the other. (As in “Why can’t you be more studious like your brother / sister?”) This will only cause resentments and fights.
• Accentuate the positive. Praise the effort of your child, instead of the result (if the results doesn’t match your or child’s expectation).
• Don’t ever say — even teasingly — that you love one more than the other.
• If you have to play referee, try not to pick sides. Instead, let cooler heads prevail and try to work things out by talking.
• Schedule a day for each child and teach them to respect the schedule.
• Keep your cool. There may be some things you might blurt out in the heat of anger, that you’ll regret afterward. Your child, on the other hand, may never forget what you said.

Sibling rivalry has been around since Biblical times. Check out Genesis. Cain hated his brother so much he murdered him (an extreme case of sibling rivalry!); and Esau, though a physical and athletic guy with his own special set of abilities, envied his more introspective twin, Jacob, who couldn’t hurt a deer to save himself.

We know where Jacob and Esau’s friction started: Their parents played favorites. Sounds familiar? Favoritism is one of the reasons why we begin to resent our sisters or brothers hence the rise of sibling rivalry. Sometimes, the favoritism is so apparent, it can drive us nuts.

Here are some tips for children who feels their brother or sister is favored more by their parents:

• Respect your mom or dad’s time alone with your brother or sister. They aren’t spending time malling or camping because they want to leave you out. Maybe your mom figures your sister will enjoy the new dress shop more because you’re more inclined to books; maybe your dad believes that he and your brother need more time for “male bonding.” Maybe it’s because they’ve already taken you out somewhere special. Try to see the balance your folks are trying to reach with each and every one of you. If you feel you could enjoy that trip to the new boutique, though, speak up and ask if you can go with them next time (you can even ask for makeover advice!). Surely they’ll be more than happy to have you with them.

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It’s 7 in the evening, do you know, what your kids are watching? More importantly, are the shows your kids love right for them? Here’s how to tell…

Believe it or not, TV can be good for kids. It’s just a matter of choosing shows that fit these criteria:

Appropriateness. Shows should note kids’ developmental stages and needs — communicating at their level, featuring child characters, depicting Filipino culture, using familiar and local contexts, believable heroes, reconcilable story lines.

Promotes positive values. Shows should reinforce positive values and character building, depict good manners and codes of proper behavior. These may be:

• Physical or biological (healthy food habits, safety, hygiene, exercise)
• Intellectual (critical thinking, reasoning, knowledge)
• Moral (practice of Filipino values, personal discipline, honesty)
• Spiritual (prayer and faith in God)
• Environmental (protection and conservation of resources, respect for life, cleanliness)
• Economic (positive attitude toward work, industriousness, saving)
• Social (appreciation of individual and cultural diversity)
• Political (heritage, national unity, diplomacy)

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If your toddler suddenly becomes clingy and demands your attention all the time, you may not have to look far from the cause. It’s his new sibling peacefully sleeping in his crib.The first thing you need to know about jealousy in toddlers is this, at this age, there is no such thing as jealousy as adults know it. By the time your first baby becomes a toddler, he becomes the most important and powerful member in the family. When the second baby finally arrives, here begins a bit of a problem. As a mother, you will have your hands full with the newborn who needs a good amount of attention. Not to mention the firstborn who hasn’t had any experience sharing his parents’ attention.

In this kind of situation, the toddler who has never really learned to be considerate or reasonable, is suddenly expected to be so. He will be made to accept this fact, change his behavior and may become unhappy about the whole situation.

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Congratulations! You’ve decided to do it all by yourself! Here are a few pointers from others who have done it before you:

On Child Care

As always keep children, especially preschoolers, where you can see or hear them. If you have an infant, make sure you have him safe in his crib, far from your preschooler’s reach.

Keep your kids busy while you take your bath or are cooking. Drawing, reading, coloring books or a video can do the trick.

On Cleaning

Don’t always expect the house to be spic and span. The goal is a semblance of neatness and cleanliness. Train the kids to fix their beds, pick up their toys, and pack away their own things.

If you have a big house, consider getting someone — perhaps one of your mom’s helpers on loan — to come in once a week to do a thorough cleaning.

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