How to deal with toddlers
We’ve listed down some of parents’ pet peeves regarding kids’ tantrums and some tips on how you can get your child to tame his or her conduct. Here are the top 7 kid’s annoying behaviors:
Behavior #1: Little Miss Bossy
Why she does it: I recently overheard my 6-year old niece scream at my 4-year old daughter in frustration, “Why do you aways want to get your way? Do you want to rule the world?” To which my daughter replied, “No, I want to be a princess.” While we laughed at this exchange, I had to admit my daughter’s tendency to boss everybody around can be annoying. Preschoolers are naturally power-hungry. They often want what they want and on their terms.
How to stop it: Try laying some ground rules that your child can follow. Always repeat these before social situations so she can be reminded on how to behave. Tell her she has to share her toys or wait for his turn during a play date or a party. Remind her too of the consequences if she doesn’t behave. Finally, reinforce good behavior by praising her whenever you see her cooperating.
Behavior #2: Interrupting conversation
Why he does it: Being rudely interrupted by a demanding child in the middle of a serious conversation is another annoying yet common problem. Most kids insist on immediate attention as they are still trying to master patience. Tugging on your sleeve and interrupting is also a way for your child to make his presence known.
How to stop it: Gary Ezzo, author of the parenting book On Becoming Child Wise, suggests teaching your child to interrupt conversation politely. When your child needs to interrupt, teach him to place a hand on your side, shoulder, or arm and then wait till you acknowledge him. You can then politely excuse yourself from the person you are talking to and give your child your attention. When you’re ready to face your child, you can take his hand and gently squeeze it so he will know that you acknowledge his presence.
Behavior #3: Manipulative Crying
Why he does it: You say “no!” to a request and your preschooler immediately launches into a plaintive howl. These bouts of “no-tears” crying can be one of your child’s most annoying habits. It’s a way for them to test their boundaries — how far they can get away with what they want by getting yur sympathy or annoying you till you give in.
How to stop it: At this stage, children need to learn that crying is not manipulative tool that will get them what they want. Oftentimes, parents need to be aware of what they may or may not be doing to encourage their children’s unwanted behavior. Giving in to a child when he or she is crying to “get something” or to “get out of being disciplined” will only reinforce negative behavior. Instead, remove a child from a negative situation and give him some quiet time to settle down and regroup.
Behavior #4: Nose picking and nail biting
Why he does it: Kids like to explore everywhere, including the little crevices of their bodies. Picking his nose or biting his nails can also be a sign of boredom. Your child doesn’t know what to do with his hands.
How to stop it: Gently pull his hand away from her nose or mouth. Give your child something play with or hold to distract her from doing the habit. Keep your child’s hands busy.
Behavior #5: Kicking and biting when they’re upset
Why he does it: Kicking and biting when your child is in a tantrum is his way of getting attention. It is also a way of expressing their frustration: of not getting what they want or being understood. A violent tantrum can also be triggered by a child’s physical discomfort. She may be hungry, tired or overly stimulated.
How to stop it: When you child resorts to violent tantrums when you say no, don’t give in. Let her know you don’t like it and won’t tolerate it. Stay calm and don’t shout at your child. Hold her tight so she won’t hurt herself or take her somewhere safe where she won’t kick or hit other people. You can try giving her a time out and put her in a corner of the house. Make sure the place is safe and you keep your eyes on your child too. Don’t talk to her till time out is over. After she calms down, find out why she was upset. Explain why you said “no” to what she asked for. Finally, teach your child to express anger the right way: through words. Small kids don’t have enough words to express their emotions and needs so they get frustrated. Be patient and listen. You can tell her that if she cries, kicks, or bites, you won’t be able to understand her.
Behavior #6: Running around (especially in a restaurant or in a church)
Why he does it: Preschoolers are still learning how to control their impulse, which means it can be quite challenging for them to actually stop and keep themselves in check when their feet want to run, for example. But while they are busy discovering and practicing the many skills that they are developing at this age, they need constant and consistent guidance as to how and when to behave in different situations.