Offer Support. Only in being present in your children’s lives can you show that you are truly available for them. Make it known to them that you are there when they need you. For working parents, setting aside a reasonable and predictable time when you can be present for your children may be advisable.

Be attuned. Attune yourself to the reactions and moods of your children. This will enable you to give emotional support when they most need it.

Enhance self-esteem. Develop a self-esteem by praising your children and letting them know that you appreciate them. Show them that they have resources to solve simple problems, so that they are encouraged to try out more difficult ones.

Think positive. Look at things fro the bright side at all times. Instead of seeing the glass to be half-empty, think of it as being as half-full. Model this way of thinking with your kids.

Search for the silver lining. Constantly look for the silver lining to every dark cloud that comes your way. It could be a lesson learned or the presence of a good friend. Anything that makes the burden lighter is always good.

Hope, faith, and transcendence. Nurture hope and transcendence in your child. Even the most terrible of tragedies can offer some glimmer of something better in the near future. This is where faith in something beyond us can be very helpful.

Behavior #1: Little Miss Bossy

Why she does it: I recently overheard my 6-year old niece scream at my 4-year old daughter in frustration, “Why do you aways want to get your way? Do you want to rule the world?” To which my daughter replied, “No, I want to be a princess.” While we laughed at this exchange, I had to admit my daughter’s tendency to boss everybody around can be annoying. Preschoolers are naturally power-hungry. They often want what they want and on their terms.

How to stop it: Try laying some ground rules that your child can follow. Always repeat these before social situations so she can be reminded on how to behave. Tell her she has to share her toys or wait for his turn during a play date or a party. Remind her too of the consequences if she doesn’t behave. Finally, reinforce good behavior by praising her whenever you see her cooperating.

Behavior #2: Interrupting conversation

Why he does it: Being rudely interrupted by a demanding child in the middle of a serious conversation is another annoying yet common problem. Most kids insist on immediate attention as they are still trying to master patience. Tugging on your sleeve and interrupting is also a way for your child to make his presence known.

How to stop it: Gary Ezzo, author of the parenting book On Becoming Child Wise, suggests teaching your child to interrupt conversation politely. When your child needs to interrupt, teach him to place a hand on your side, shoulder, or arm and then wait till you acknowledge him. You can then politely excuse yourself from the person you are talking to and give your child your attention. When you’re ready to face your child, you can take his hand and gently squeeze it so he will know that you acknowledge his presence.

Behavior #3: Manipulative Crying

Why he does it: You say “no!” to a request and your preschooler immediately launches into a plaintive howl. These bouts of “no-tears” crying can be one of your child’s most annoying habits. It’s a way for them to test their boundaries — how far they can get away with what they want by getting yur sympathy or annoying you till you give in.

How to stop it: At this stage, children need to learn that crying is not manipulative tool that will get them what they want. Oftentimes, parents need to be aware of what they may or may not be doing to encourage their children’s unwanted behavior. Giving in to a child when he or she is crying to “get something” or to “get out of being disciplined” will only reinforce negative behavior. Instead, remove a child from a negative situation and give him some quiet time to settle down and regroup.

Behavior #4: Nose picking and nail biting

Why he does it: Kids like to explore everywhere, including the little crevices of their bodies. Picking his nose or biting his nails can also be a sign of boredom. Your child doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

How to stop it: Gently pull his hand away from her nose or mouth. Give your child something play with or hold to distract her from doing the habit. Keep your child’s hands busy.

Behavior #5: Kicking and biting when they’re upset

Why he does it: Kicking and biting when your child is in a tantrum is his way of getting attention. It is also a way of expressing their frustration: of not getting what they want or being understood. A violent tantrum can also be triggered by a child’s physical discomfort. She may be hungry, tired or overly stimulated.

How to stop it: When you child resorts to violent tantrums when you say no, don’t give in. Let her know you don’t like it and won’t tolerate it. Stay calm and don’t shout at your child. Hold her tight so she won’t hurt herself or take her somewhere safe where she won’t kick or hit other people. You can try giving her a time out and put her in a corner of the house. Make sure the place is safe and you keep your eyes on your child too. Don’t talk to her till time out is over. After she calms down, find out why she was upset. Explain why you said “no” to what she asked for. Finally, teach your child to express anger the right way: through words. Small kids don’t have enough words to express their emotions and needs so they get frustrated. Be patient and listen. You can tell her that if she cries, kicks, or bites, you won’t be able to understand her.

Behavior #6: Running around (especially in a restaurant or in a church)

Why he does it: Preschoolers are still learning how to control their impulse, which means it can be quite challenging for them to actually stop and keep themselves in check when their feet want to run, for example. But while they are busy discovering and practicing the many skills that they are developing at this age, they need constant and consistent guidance as to how and when to behave in different situations.

How to stop it: The best way to teach children in these instances is to give them creative outlets for their energies. Playing stop and go games, for example, helps them learn how to stop and control their movements within safe, playful context.

Also, instead of just saying “Don’t run,” explain to her that when she runs around in a crowded church, she might bump and hurt other people. Or, in a restaurant, she might get into an accident by bumping into a waiter carrying a loaded food tray.

Believe it or not, TV can be good for kids. It’s just a matter of choosing shows that fit these criteria:

Appropriateness. Shows should note kids’ developmental stages and needs — communicating at their level, featuring child characters, depicting Filipino culture, using familiar and local contexts, believable heroes, reconcilable story lines.

Promotes positive values. Shows should reinforce positive values and character building, depict good manners and codes of proper behavior. These may be:

• Physical or biological (healthy food habits, safety, hygiene, exercise)
• Intellectual (critical thinking, reasoning, knowledge)
• Moral (practice of Filipino values, personal discipline, honesty)
• Spiritual (prayer and faith in God)
• Environmental (protection and conservation of resources, respect for life, cleanliness)
• Economic (positive attitude toward work, industriousness, saving)
• Social (appreciation of individual and cultural diversity)
• Political (heritage, national unity, diplomacy)

No gratuitous sex and violence. Shows should not depict violence as justified, without consequences, pleasurable and funny, heroes as violent aggressors, or revenge as the motivating factor. They should not treat violence as an acceptable form of self-defense or avoiding insult, show physical violence, or use of weapons to harm others. They should be free from scenes of gratuitous sex (torrid kissing and bed scenes), sexually suggestive images and language, adulterous practices, pornography, prostitution or pre-marital sex.

Good production values. Wholesome doesn’t mean boring and dry. Shows must be entertaining and visually appealing — capturing kids’ attention, allowing reflection between sequences, drawing content from diverse sources to expand learning and discovery, using ingenious and attractive props and sets, sound and visual effects not harmful to kids’ hearing and eyesight.

Appropriate language. Shows should develop language abilities — Filipino, English or Taglish — by exposing kids to clear and appropriate use. They had best avoid cuss words, colloquial, vulgar / indecent terms.

Cautious use and treatment of themes and issues. Shows must be aware of issues involving the young — emphasizing positive themes, promoting child rights and responsibilities, calling for parental guidance of mature and sophisticated themes. They should give attention to equal gender portrayal, just treatment of indigenous people, respect for the disabled and compassion for the less privileged. They should enable parents to monitor programs with serious subjects, warn kids about their meanings, and help them make sense of what they see.

Viewer participation. Shows must demonstrate that learning through TV is both fun and intellectually rewarding. They must stimulate imagination and creative thinking, employ mental challenges, make kids analyze situations, promote interaction, encourage practice and development of artistic and creative talents.

Allows feedback. Kids should be allowed to express and make ideas known through media correspondence. This allows them to participate in media content management and production planning, ensuring these are appropriate for their age and evolving capacities. Shows should give exposure to feedback and respond to them.

Realism. Shows must distinguish reality from fantasy, avoiding deliberate substitution of unnatural / abnormal images for what really occurs around kids. Blatantly unrealistic dream states create confusion when kids interpret their experiences. Plots should have a credible progression, resolutions of conflict attainable, portrayal of characters featured in their own language and culture realistic.

Parental involvement, justification for adult influence. Instead of replacements for parents, shows should serve as conversation pieces for parent-child interaction. They should provide adults with space to mediate images and help kids make sense of them, encourage adult presence, remind parents to explain implications of what a child is watching, and when applicable, indicate PG ratings.