Parenting Advices

A good social support system in the family and an optimistic world-view are our two strongest weapons against suicide. We can develop these through the following habits:

Offer Support. Only in being present in your children’s lives can you show that you are truly available for them. Make it known to them that you are there when they need you. For working parents, setting aside a reasonable and predictable time when you can be present for your children may be advisable.

Be attuned. Attune yourself to the reactions and moods of your children. This will enable you to give emotional support when they most need it.

Enhance self-esteem. Develop a self-esteem by praising your children and letting them know that you appreciate them. Show them that they have resources to solve simple problems, so that they are encouraged to try out more difficult ones.

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Want to make your home sparkle the old-fashioned way? All you need is five simple ingredients.

Baking soda

• For sparkling silver, line a porcelain sink with heavy-duty aluminum foil. Load it with silver you intent to polish, making certain that every item touches the foil liner. Cover with boiling water and add a cup of baking soda. The tarnish will jump from the silver to the foil in almost no time. For any remaining traces of heavy tarnish, make a paste of water and baking soda and polish the surface until it shines.
• Make a tile cleanser by mixing two cups of baking soda with a half cup of lukewarm water. Brush the mixture into the grout and scrub, scrub, scrub.
• Sprinkle baking soda onto your upholstered couch to deodorize it. Let it stand for an hour, then vacuum.

Lemon

• Mix two parts olive oil with one part lemon juice to create furniture polish. Just a few drops on a soft cloth will make your wooden furniture shine. Buff the surface with a dry cloth to remove any excess oil. Store your polish in a glass jar.
• Remove ink stains on cloth by placing lemon juice directly onto the spot. Allow it to sit overnight before laundering as usual. Repeat if necessary.
• Take rust off household tools and chrome by using salt and one tablespoon of lemon juice. Make a paste and rub onto rusty area with a dry cloth.
• Brighten white fabrics by soaking them in a pot of boiling water with a sliced lemon.

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Knowing what skin problems might await your child outdoors can help you prevent them.

Kids are prone to particular skin problems during summer because of the hot humid climate. For instance, fungal growth is fostered in sweaty areas because it thrives in moist conditions. Children’s skin can also be quite sensitive to heat and overheating often aggravates itching in already affected areas.

Top Summer Skin Problems for Kids

Millaria. More commonly known as prickly, it is caused by the blocking of the flow of sweat from the sweat glands to the skin’s surface. “The sweat will look for another way to get out so it escapes into the skin.

Prickly heat manifests as tiny pink to red spots that can be intensely itchy and painful. In worse cases, the spots may sometimes appear as if they are infected with pus. The spots or bumps often show up on covered parts of the skin, especially where there is friction from clothing. The forehead, body folds, the upper back and chest, trunk, abdomen, and the arms are also common sites.

Mild cases may respond to dusting powders like cornstarch and talcum after bath. For moderate to severe cases, however, it’s best to bring your child to the dermatologist or pediatrician as mild topical and oral steroids may be prescribed.

Placing your child in a cool environment, preferably an airconditioned room will help ease prickly as well as frequent cool baths and light cotton clothing.

Intertigo. Also described as superficial inflammatory dermatitis, it’s an intensely red, macerated, glistening rash with scaling on the edges. This is commonly found among overweight or obese children and affected sites are usually creases of the neck, and other skin folds. Friction — the rubbing of skin against skin plus heat and moisture — result in redness that eventually leaves it macerated. Secondary infection by bacteria or fungi then occurs and patient may experience a burning, itchy sensation.

It’s recommended to bring your child immediately to the dermatologist who may prescribe antihistamines; anti-fungal therapy may also be prescribed.

At home, apply a saline compress to help dry affected areas. The procedure involves placing a gauze on top of the rash then slowly applying saline solution (available in drug stores) using a proper gauze, for 10 to 15 minutes three times a day.

Help prevent intertrigo by keeping skin folds clean and as dry as possible. Applying dusting powders in th folds after a bath will lessen friction in the skin and provide a cooling sensation to the patient. Dress your child in loose and soft clothing and underwear. For obese children, weight loss will help reduce the size of fat folds.

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No more teacher, no more books! Give the nanny a break with these quality-time things to do in the season of sun and fun.

1. Alumni homecoming, here we come. Take your child to your old high school or college and show them your old classrooms, library, etc. Your kids will love to hear stories about how you were as a student and it is also a great opportunity for you to teach them valuable lessons. Treat them to a meal at the old cafeteria or the nearest fast food.

2. Figure a puzzle. Take home one of those giat jigsaw puzzles that contain 500 to over a thousand pieces and make it a family project for the summer. Delegate a special table where you can leave the puzzle and where everyone can gather around every night for some cozy before-bedtime bonding. Have some mugs of hot chocolate or bags of popcorn handy to complete the picture.

3. Attend toddler classes. Bond with your young ones by signing up for music and movement classes.

4. Pack the picnic basket and go to the park. You can take your family to a picnic in the nearest park, or maybe somewhere out of town. That way, you can spend some time in a park that you’d visit for the first time. Your children would surely enjoy interacting with other kids while you can have a sweet bonding time with your spouse.

5. Enjoy car wash day. Take out the garden hose, pails, sponges, tire brush and soap and have a fun morning washing the family car. Children will love getting themselves wet and will relish pointing the hose at mom and dad. Sure, you can pay someone else 50 bucks to wash the car but it wouldn’t be as fun as getting the family soaked on a hot summer day.

6. Have a family project. A bird-feeling platform, a tree-house or a hand-crafted toy — let your family’s creativity flow with a project that you can all do together. My husband and I recently finished making a sandbox for our daughter. Not only did it save us a lot of money, but it also gave our three-year-old a sense of accomplishment as she helped us paint and pour the sand into her box.

7. Think green. What better way to teach your child about the environment than by actually experiencing it. Try boating at the lagoon or swimming at the salt water pool for starters then stroll along the park while learning about the different plants.

8. Home Theater. Microwave popcorn, ice-cold sodas, snuggling on the bed in tattered pajamas — you can’t beat family bonding while watching films in the comfort of your own home. Renting DVD movies is a great cheap thrill and we recommend getting these family-bonding flicks:

• Father of the Bride, starring Steve Martin as an aging dad who can’t quite let go of his recently engaged daughter, this film is both touching and hilarious as it follows the misadventures of a family planning its first wedding.
• Freaky Friday. Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan star as a mom and daughter who can’t get along. When they switch bodies one freaky Friday, they are forced to adapt living each other’s lives for a day.
• Back to the Future. Michael J. Fox during his ’80’s heyday, this film is a classic comedy. What would it be like to meet your parents in their teens? Parents will love the retro feel of the film while kids will be encouraged to imagine, what if we can go back in time?

9. History lives. Give your children a historical lesson they’ll truly remember by taking them to where history actually happened.

10. Enjoy the pool. Don’t feel like driving out of town to take the kids swimming? Enjoy first-class pool facilities at hotels in the city that have fitness centers where mom and dad can relax or use the gym. Of course, you can bring your own picnic basket but at least you can forget about cooking for a day as you enjoy the hotel’s yummy meals and first-rate service.

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Bust the hidden allergies in your home to keep your place — and your kids — healthy.

Cecile goes into a room and starts to sneeze and itch all over. Usually immune from allergies, she now finds herself affected by the unusually large amount of dust around her.

Although the windows are closed, dust still penetrates through the window sill and finds its way into the home. Our home is a hotbed for allergens — dust, dust mites and mold are only some of the common causes of allergy. Enjoy the summer months by reducing the amount of allergens in the home.

Keep your home and bedroom a safe refuge by making it a healthy place to be in. Here are some tips from the 3M Handy Book of Health & Personal Care (Anvil Publishing, Inc., 2005) to keep it that way:

• Wash beddings in hot water every week.
• Vacuum carpeted rooms regularly.
• Wash curtains often.
• Remove items that collect dust; if it must be in the room, dust them regularly.
• Airconditioners control room temperature and reduce humidity, so clean airconditioner filters regularly to prevent molds.
• Remove pet hair from furniture if your pets are in the house.
• Bathe pets regularly.
• Expose mattresses under the sun.
• Shampoo or expose rugs to sunlight and beat them to remove the dirt.

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Cockroaches and mosquitoes can cause asthma, dengue and a host of other diseases. But do the pesticides that kill them pose equal, sometimes greater danger to our kid’s health? If used incorrectly, pesticides can be very harmful when ingested or inhaled, or absorbed by the skin. While all products carry warning labels, most consumers ignore them. Don’t.

Children are at a greater risk. Their organs are still developing. These pesticides can affect their ability to absorb nutrient. Their bodies may also have a hard time expelling the harmful chemicals, which stay in their systems where they can cause long-term and even permanent damage to the nervous system and other organs.

Pregnant women should also avoid pesticide exposure because of its effect on their unborn child’s neuromuscular system. However, there have been very few studies on how great the effect can be. Research has been done on animals, which developed skeletal abnormalities and low birth weight after excessive exposure.

The chemistry of a pest killer

There are chemical pesticides (made of synthetic materials) and biopesticides (made of natural materials as animals, plants and bacteria).

Chemical pesticides include organophosphates and carbamates, which kill pests by affecting their nervous system, and pyrethroids.

On the other hand, biopesticides use naturally occurring substances. For example, microbial biopesticides use bacteria or virus, to attack the pest or its eggs. Others harvest substances (like sex pheromones that interfere with matting).

Both can affect a person’s health, but in varying degrees. You also have to consider how you were exposed to the pesticide, how much, and your own level of sensitivity. For example,  swallowing pesticide can be very toxic and potentially fatal, since the chemicals can harm the stomach and intestinal lining.

The invisible poisons

Pesticides are useful, yes, but you have to be careful — and take far greater precautions than just asking your kids to leave the room when you spray. Ten minutes later, when they walk in, they can ingest the chemicals through a number of ways.

Playing on the floor. Even unscented sprays will leave a microscopic “carpet” of pesticide droplets on the floor, where they’ll be absorbed by your toddler’s skin.

Inhaling the chemicals. Chewing on a toy. You’d never let your toddler chew on a bottle of insecticide, but they’re at equal risk if you leave their teether on the table when you spray.

Touching an infected surface, then rubbing the eyes. Some pesticides can even penetrate the eyes directly (that’s why they get watery). They may also accidentally eat improperly stored pesticides and cleansing agents like roach sprays and insect sprays. Even swimming can put them at risk, if the water contains strong chemicals.

Signs of  pesticide poisoning:

Symptoms include nausea, mild dizziness, and redness of the eyes or skin. Severe reactions include respiratory distress (difficulty in breathing, wheezing), convulsions, and change in consciousness. Here’s what to do:

• If it was due to contact with the skin and eyes: Remove contaminated clothes Wash the affected area with clean running water for 15 minutes.
• If it was inhaled: Loosen tight-fitting clothes. Bring him near a window or any area where he can get a fresh air. If he has convulsions, has trouble breathing, or is turning blue, give artificial respiration and rush to the nearest medical center as possible.
• If it was swallowed: Don’t make the person vomit. Some poisons may cause even greater injury when they are vomited. Bring the person to the emergency room right away.

How to avoid exposure to pesticides:

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We’ve listed down some of parents’ pet peeves regarding kids’ tantrums and some tips on how you can get your child to tame his or her conduct. Here are the top 7 kid’s annoying behaviors:

Behavior #1: Little Miss Bossy

Why she does it: I recently overheard my 6-year old niece scream at my 4-year old daughter in frustration, “Why do you aways want to get your way? Do you want to rule the world?” To which my daughter replied, “No, I want to be a princess.” While we laughed at this exchange, I had to admit my daughter’s tendency to boss everybody around can be annoying. Preschoolers are naturally power-hungry. They often want what they want and on their terms.

How to stop it: Try laying some ground rules that your child can follow. Always repeat these before social situations so she can be reminded on how to behave. Tell her she has to share her toys or wait for his turn during a play date or a party. Remind her too of the consequences if she doesn’t behave. Finally, reinforce good behavior by praising her whenever you see her cooperating.

Behavior #2: Interrupting conversation

Why he does it: Being rudely interrupted by a demanding child in the middle of a serious conversation is another annoying yet common problem. Most kids insist on immediate attention as they are still trying to master patience. Tugging on your sleeve and interrupting is also a way for your child to make his presence known.

How to stop it: Gary Ezzo, author of the parenting book On Becoming Child Wise, suggests teaching your child to interrupt conversation politely. When your child needs to interrupt, teach him to place a hand on your side, shoulder, or arm and then wait till you acknowledge him. You can then politely excuse yourself from the person you are talking to and give your child your attention. When you’re ready to face your child, you can take his hand and gently squeeze it so he will know that you acknowledge his presence.

Behavior #3: Manipulative Crying

Why he does it: You say “no!” to a request and your preschooler immediately launches into a plaintive howl. These bouts of “no-tears” crying can be one of your child’s most annoying habits. It’s a way for them to test their boundaries — how far they can get away with what they want by getting yur sympathy or annoying you till you give in.

How to stop it: At this stage, children need to learn that crying is not manipulative tool that will get them what they want. Oftentimes, parents need to be aware of what they may or may not be doing to encourage their children’s unwanted behavior. Giving in to a child when he or she is crying to “get something” or to “get out of being disciplined” will only reinforce negative behavior. Instead, remove a child from a negative situation and give him some quiet time to settle down and regroup.

Behavior #4: Nose picking and nail biting

Why he does it: Kids like to explore everywhere, including the little crevices of their bodies. Picking his nose or biting his nails can also be a sign of boredom. Your child doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

How to stop it: Gently pull his hand away from her nose or mouth. Give your child something play with or hold to distract her from doing the habit. Keep your child’s hands busy.

Behavior #5: Kicking and biting when they’re upset

Why he does it: Kicking and biting when your child is in a tantrum is his way of getting attention. It is also a way of expressing their frustration: of not getting what they want or being understood. A violent tantrum can also be triggered by a child’s physical discomfort. She may be hungry, tired or overly stimulated.

How to stop it: When you child resorts to violent tantrums when you say no, don’t give in. Let her know you don’t like it and won’t tolerate it. Stay calm and don’t shout at your child. Hold her tight so she won’t hurt herself or take her somewhere safe where she won’t kick or hit other people. You can try giving her a time out and put her in a corner of the house. Make sure the place is safe and you keep your eyes on your child too. Don’t talk to her till time out is over. After she calms down, find out why she was upset. Explain why you said “no” to what she asked for. Finally, teach your child to express anger the right way: through words. Small kids don’t have enough words to express their emotions and needs so they get frustrated. Be patient and listen. You can tell her that if she cries, kicks, or bites, you won’t be able to understand her.

Behavior #6: Running around (especially in a restaurant or in a church)

Why he does it: Preschoolers are still learning how to control their impulse, which means it can be quite challenging for them to actually stop and keep themselves in check when their feet want to run, for example. But while they are busy discovering and practicing the many skills that they are developing at this age, they need constant and consistent guidance as to how and when to behave in different situations.

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Singapore couples are finding new possibilities for parenthood through assisted reproduction techniques. More than 600 babies have been born through assisted reproduction techniques (ART) at the Thomson Fertility Centre (TFC) in Singapore, enabling couples with fertility problems to fulfill their deep desire become parents.

TFC made world news when it made possible the world’s first birth from frozen eggs and frozen testicular sperm, a break-through offering new possibilities for in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment.

What is IVF? IVF is simply the uniting of egg and sperm in vitro (in the lab). Subsequently, the embryos are transferred into the uterus through the cervix and the pregnancy is allowed to begin. The process is done in conjunction with induced ovulation, monitoring of hormone levels and follicular scanning through ultrasound.

The medical director of TFC, Dr Cheng Li Cheng, has been involved with IVF treatment for 15 years, including managing the IVF unit at King’s College Hospital, London, where he saw hundreds of women annually, despite a five-year waiting list just to get into the program.

TFC was established by Thomson Medical Centre in 1987, transferring medical technology and specialists from the Assisted Conception Unit at King’s College Hospital making it the first private hospital in Singapore to offer IVF treatment. It also offers a range of other assisted reproduction techniques. There is not waiting list, with 70% of patients coming from within Singapore and the remainder coming from the rest of the region, mainly Indonesia.

Says Dr Cheng: “IVF treatment is one of many ways to fulfill a couple’s desire to have a child. It is the ultimate in fertility treatment, and consequently, it is associated with a lot of stress — physical, emotional, and financial. At the end of the day, fertility treatment is life-giving treatment, not life-saving treatment. Thus, coules have toweigh is needed to achieve pregnancy against what they want.

With many couples opting to have a career first and think about having children later, their chances of conceiving naturally decrease with age.

“It is easier to have children when you are younger, and if there are problems to begin with, then conceiving can be a problem,” says Dr Cheng. “We should start having babies at 18, 19, and 20, like in the good old days,” he adds, smiling. Leaving parenthood until a later age is very much an urban problem, and as more countries achieve first world status it seems like the problem will get worse. Fortunately, technology can help.

What are the prospects for conceiving a child?

• Becoming pregnant is such a complex process that there is a much greater probability of not becoming pregnant during a monthly cycle than ever becoming pregnant.
• Even for a completely fertile couple having regularly unprotected sexual intercourse, the chance of conception within one menstural cycle is only 20%-30% (i.e. odds of up to 5 to 1).
• The pregnancy rates after treatment for fertility problems can also be around this level, if everything goes according to plan, which means several treatment cycles may be necessary before a woman can become pregnant.
• Of course, the individual prospects depend on the severity of the fertility problem and on the woman’s age. In the case of correctable hormonal disturbances, with or without slight restrictions in male fertility, pregnancy can be achieved by about 70% of couples within four treatment cycles. In cases of IVF (fertilization of egg with sperm outside the body), the prospects of pregnancy within four treatment cycles is about 50% to 60%.

Whether it’s the specific task of teaching them to stop hitting, or the overall goal of developing EQ, it all boils down to the simple messages we send everyday and how consistent we are in our responses. Kids this young learn through habit and imitation.

What to do during a tantrum:

• Don’t hit, bite, or yell in return (even if it’s to “teach him how it feels like”), or he’ll think that behavior’s okay.
• Stay calm and keep your voice firm. Since he’s upset and isn’t actually listening to you at this point, you shouldn’t lecture or talk or explain why what he’s doing is wrong. Keep it short: say “No hitting” or “No biting”.
• If that doesn’t work, get up and walk away. Tantrums are no fun if there’s no audience.
• He’s agitated and doesn’t know how to calm himself down. Bring him to a quiet corner, or at least remove him from whatever has upset him in the first place (e.g., the DVD player he’s halfway through breaking). Yelling will only upset him further (remember how your reaction to being shouted at is to shout even louder) so keep your voice low and calm.
• Give him the words for what he feels. “Zach is tired.” or “Zach is mad.” (Tip: Barney videos are pretty good at teaching EQ, like identifying feelings and considering how other people feel.)
• Give him another option. Right now all he knows is what he wants and how he didn’t get it — lead him to another activity.

How to head off a tantrum:

Toddlers tend to scream, hit and bite when they’re cranky, overwhelmed, or overstimulated. Here are some signs that you need to calm him down fast:
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Every parent’s nightmare: taking the kids for those nasty shots. Here’s how to make it easier on them — and on you.

Parenthood can be a tough job. Just how tough? Try taking your kids to the doctor’s for their shots. You remember how it was before — the needles hurt, and you hated your parents and that mean doctor for making you go through the pain. And here you are now, subjecting your own two-year-old to the same pain.

How does immunization work? A vaccine subjects the body to tolerable amounts of disease-causing agents or antigens. The body then goes into defense mode and releases antibodies to fight the antigen. Thus the body becomes immune to the disease.

The Usual Suspects:

Here’s a rundown of the most common diseases that all kids are prone to. Consult your pediatrician as to when would be the best time for your kids to get immunized for them.

Chicken pox occurs 12 to 16 days after exposure and lasts 8 to 14 days. Symptoms: fever, body weaknesses, sore throat, a mild dry cough, paleness and difficulty in breathing. The membranes of the throat, tonsils, palate, and nose appear grayish.

Measles have an incubation period of 10 to 14 days and lasts five days. Symptons: fever, a runny nose, red watery eyes, dry cough, small white milky spots in the mouth. On the last couple of days, the red rash behind the ears or around the hairline spreads gradually to the rest of the body.

Meningitis appears the first week after exposure. Symptoms: sudden fever, headache and vomiting. Reddish spots sometimes show up on the eyelids, body and extremities.

Mumps appear on the third week after exposure and last about a week. Symptoms: pain in the cheeks (made worse by chewing), swelling and moderate body weakness.

Poliomyelitis is a slow process. It strikes any age, though most commonly in children between one and five years of age. Symptoms: fever, pain, swelling (frequently under the jaw and skin), increase irritability and muscle tenderness.

Whooping cough will run its course for two weeks. Symptoms: severe cough (increasing in severity and frequency) which may make the child red in the face and also cause vomiting. Coughing spells are marked by a respiratory whoop at the end.

Typhoid fever appears a week or two after exposure and lasts two weeks. Symptoms: fever, diarrhea, vomiting, thirst, prostration, stupor, delirium, and a low pulse rate.

Rubella (German measles) lasts only two to four days. Symptoms: a rash, weakness, slight swelling of the nasopharynx as well as slight reddish spots in the pharynx.

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